Lost

My life is such a complete and utter mess all the time. Just when I think I’m on the right track, I slip and fall right back down again and I’m so tired of being down here, alone.

I’m tired of rejection over and over, especially when I don’t know why I'm being rejected. I’m tired of being rejected because of my child. What´s the deal with that? So I’ve got a daughter. It’s not like I’m asking anyone to step in and be her father after the first date or anything, just give ME a chance.

I’m tired of giving and not getting anything in return. And yes I'm talking all divisions here. Shape up...

I'm tired of feeling insecure about me and everything I do, I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see…but hey…were back on the rejection page again…

I feel like I try so hard all the time to make everything work…to make ends meet…and still it never seems to be quite good enough.

I want to figure out what to do with my life. I don’t want to sit like this in30 years feeling like I let it all go to waste, not even in five years…or a single more year…

I want to find a soul mate…people put themselves out to be just what I want and when push comes to shove the never are…

My level of frustration is through the roof…my brain working overtime day and night…I can’t really just sit down and relax without thought after thought running amok in my head.
It feels like whatever I do I end up...almost there…with the end in reach and then someone or something comes along, stands, points and says “ha ha you suck”….real Nelson style.

It feels like I'm being left behind of myself. I reckon I got more potential then I'm giving myself credit for which leads me to a fear and hesitation to do anything constructive with my life. Sometimes it feels like I lost sovereignty over myself.